Vocab for Morons. Day 3

Hello, friends. Today's lesson is vocabulary.

First off, let's discuss "binky". Is this even a word in any language? Repeat after me. PACIFIER. Please never say binky to my kid; we are teaching him English, not the language of make believe words.

Next up - Baba. Really?! Is it so hard to simply say bottle?? It is the exact same number of syllables! Stop being a tool.

While we are on the subject of vocabulary, eggspecially and expresso are not words. Neither are liberry, fustrated and estatic.

Let's stop here for today. I don't want your head to explode.

You're still stupid. Day 2

You should know that entering a 3 month old in a beauty pageant is weird. Cute, but weird. Telling people that doing pageants is your 3 month old daughter's decision? That is totally psychotic.

The moral here I guess is this: stay away from pageant folk. They are similar to the circus folk, but with much better teeth and eyelashes.

Teaching You to Suck Less, Day 1

Today I heard a woman say that she doesn't believe that kids should have rules because it stifles creativity.

Rules stifle creativity?! I shouldn't even need to explain the sheer lunacy of this statement. If you subscribe to this line of thinking it is probably safe to assume that all of your neighbors and extended family members hate you. Teachers hate you. I hate you. Your mother? She hates you, too.

Rules make your kids not turn out like giant douchefaces. Now stop being an idiot and give the little spawn a bedtime and some chores.

Introduction

Hi, All!

Every day I will post a thought or two to teach common sense to everyday morons. You can feel free to disagree with my thoughts, but you should know that if you disagree you are probably one of the morons for which this blog is intended.